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Business-oriented Topics
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Enabling
successful career transitions
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Developing
meaningful career goals and plans
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Leadership
and management excellence
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Increased
or more consistent results
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Improving
interpersonal communication skills
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Enhancing
entrepreneurship and innovative thinking
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Sustaining
life and work balance
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Interpersonal Life Topics
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Enhancing
interpersonal communication skills
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Developing
personal power
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Lessening
stress and developing balance
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Navigating
life passages and transitions
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Maximizing
life partner choices
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Understanding reluctant parenting
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Enabling
care-taking or reverse parenting
What is the
role of a coach?
Most of us are familiar
with the concept of a personal trainer that can help get us started with a
healthier body at the gym. The idea of a life or professional coach is
similar in the aspect of an in-your-face reminder to focus on our personal
goal, and goes beyond that.
An effective integral
coaching relationship enables us to become more of the best person we can
be, and enables us to be more competent and balanced as a human being.
The coaching process can
enable us to find new ways to view and experience the world and ourselves. A
coach creates a safe environment for honest exploration and exchange so that
you, the client, become free to discover new choices and ways of
experiencing your life. A coach can help you to find a new way of thinking
or being that will enable you to make the changes you want in your life.
The discovery process
may involve examining and questioning the assumptions, beliefs, and habits,
and results that drive your current behavior, and to explore options that
expand on what is already working well for you. You can then develop a plan,
step by step, to effectively design and make changes in your life that can
bring you the results you are searching for.
You may want to change
something major, such as a career path or life partner, or to somehow just
feel less angry, resentful, or unhappy. You may only want to change one
thing, such as finding a strategy that enables you to keep off the pounds
you worked so hard to get rid of, or finding a meaningful replacement for
habits or ways of being that are not fulfilling anymore.
You may seek out a
professional, executive or management coach to help you grow in areas of
your life at work, empowering your leadership or technical qualities to
emerge. You may have already defined what you want to enhance, and want to
speed up your progress or grow in new areas that feel unfamiliar to you.
You may want to build on
the strengths you have or make some tweaks to enable behavior or performance
that is consistently in line with quality or an appropriate standard, and to
find ways to keep yourself on course and engaged.
You may seek a life
coach when you are experiencing a life transition or major passage. A
primary relationship change brings un-intended consequences, or you reach a
milestone such as mid-life and you begin to wonder what you might be
missing, or what might yet be possible for you to achieve or experience. A
life-changing event may occur and personal choices appear limited or
difficult even though you want your life to be better.
What makes
Coaching work?
We each wear unique
glasses through which we see and experience our lives. We learn methods and
patterns that become our norm when viewing and interpreting our life
experiences, both what we see as results
and the reasons supporting those results that we influence or create.
Coaching can help us to find a pair of glasses that may provide a new
perspective, as well as enable us to practice new choices and behaviors that
influence and create our intended results.
Coaching helps us to
examine and bring to light those things that may be holding us back from
living the life we really desire, which is an expression of our true
essential selves. It provides a way to bring a healthy balance between the
essential and social selves, between reality and our perception of it, so
that we can feel joy and that we are living our “best lives.”
In sports, we may
associate the idea of a coach with a picture of someone who once was a star
themselves, or is highly trained in the strategy and technique of the sport,
and thus can provide advice, direction for each player, and a game plan.
However, a life or professional coach will not tell you what to do. However,
they can help you create some strategies and practices that will enable you
to be the person you want to be.
Who is
responsible for the outcomes or results?
Most likely your coach
believes your life outcomes and changes you may want to make are really up
to you. Your coach can provide a new perspective that enables or brings to
light additional options. Your coach is there to help you uncover your true
essential self, build on your strengths, and to provide support to you as
you decide on the changes you want in your life. Your coach can be an
unbiased mirror to enable you to see what you are today, as well as help you
to see a reflection of the person you want to become. Your coach can shine a
light to uncover a new way of looking at life to enable you to see new
possibilities or choices around you.
Making small changes in
our own lives means that others around us then adapt, and our relationships
as well as the stories we tell ourselves change in response. Taking small
but incremental steps in a consistent direction can lead to big changes and
the results we crave.
Coaches often have a
wealth of real life experience to guide them, as well as resources and
interpersonal communication tools to help them aid you in your discovery
process. A coach can provide honest feedback and suggestions for options or
new ways of thinking or behaving. A coach does not assume they know what the
answers are for you. Coaches are trained to help you find the answers and
actions that feel right for you.
Why would I
choose a Professional, Executive, or Management Coach?
A coach trained to work
with professionals, executives, and managers or other business associates
will be familiar with business concepts and terms, and may understand the
unique goals of the client’s associated organization. There may be
particular areas, or methods that the associated organization prefers or
that build on its culture, values, and terms or unique “language.” While
people may think of their work lives and their lives outside of work as
being very separate, there is usually overlap in habits and values, so a
particular coach’s areas of expertise may span multiple areas of life and
work experience.
To ensure appropriate
coaching skills to address topics of business clients, Jenny completed a
professional coaching certification program, “Professional Coaching” from
New Ventures
West* in San Francisco, California. This year-long
certification program is based on the principles of Integral Coaching*,
outlined by James Flaherty in his book Coaching: Evoking Excellence in
Others (Newton, MA: Butterworth-Heinemann, Spring, 1998). Graduates of
the program are eligible for certification by the
International Coach Federation (ICF).
The Integral Coaching
models and theories are based on and embrace all aspects of what it means to
be human. This integral coaching relationship strives to enhance long-term
excellent performance, and to enable the client to be self-correcting and
self-generating after the coaching relationship ends.
Why would I
choose a Life coach?
There are many types and
specialty areas that a life coach might focus on, such as self-defeating or
addictive behavior, career or self development, and life transitions. Jenny
completed North Star Life Coaching with Martha Beck in 2004. This coaching
model was developed by
Dr. Martha Beck*, author of
Leaving the Saints, Searching for Adam*, Finding Your Own
North Star*, and The Joy Diet*. Martha Beck is also a regular
columnist in O, the Oprah
Magazine*, and is a
North Star Life Coach.
North Star Life Coaching
encompasses strategies for embracing life changes. The coaching process is
based on the premise that everyone has within them the basic navigational
system to lead them to the expression of their true essential self. Living
life with the true essential self in the forefront, as a whole and balanced
being means a person is able to live life with joy and at peace as an
expression of whatever it is they are designed to do best.
Because we grow up in a
social system around other people, we all have a social self that sometimes
can get in the way of our essential self. If our social selves have strong
“shoulds” and are supported by unexamined and maybe unconscious beliefs, we
may wonder if our lives could be different, and we may not be happy with
whom we are in some areas of our lives.
Why would I
pick a particular coach?
Clients often choose a
coach by referral or due to the specific expertise, experience, or
background of the coach. Most clients and coaches prefer an initial “get
acquainted” interview to ensure a mutually comfortable coaching
relationship. The client will want to feel comfortable with the personal
style and competence of the coach, and the coach will want to be comfortable
that the client has realistic expectations of the facilitation relationship.
What makes
coaching different from traditional therapy?
Therapy has many flavors
and methods. It is a process to help people heal emotional wounds and move
forward, and current behaviors and feelings are often examined by looking at
issues from the past. The focus on past issues is based on the premise that
understanding and healing from past events will lead to a more emotionally
healthy future. While therapists and approaches vary widely, therapy is
often undertaken when emotional pain becomes unbearable or one’s behavior
has strong negative consequences.
In contrast, coaching
focuses on the future and what you want to become. While a coach may ask you
to examine your assumptions, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors which may
have roots in the past, the focus moves to the present to build on your
unique strengths and achieve balance in your life. You may want to stop or
minimize unhealthy patterns by making changes that move you forward to being
the person you want to be. A coach can help you take action to capitalize on
your strengths, open your mind to new ways of thinking, change habits, learn
new ways of showing up in the world, and plan to achieve the results you
want for your life.
How does
the coaching process work?
Your coach just engages
in conversation with you. It can be over the phone or in a relaxed
atmosphere such as a coffee shop or conference room. New questions from your
coach may lead to new ways of thinking of things, new ideas and new options,
created by you.
The act of listening
closely and asking for more information in the right areas about what your
heart and soul really desire can lead to new avenues for you. A coach can
create a safe, nurturing environment for you to allow yourself to “show up”
as the person you really are, and to see the person that you can become at
your best.
You may find you just
need to take some small, incremental steps aligned with the direction or
change you want to make to achieve what you define as success.
How can I
know if I am ready to be coached?
Are you open to new
possibilities? Are you willing to let go of old beliefs and underlying
assumptions? Are you open to trying a different way of thinking or behaving?
Are you open to learning about yourself and others? Are you committed to
different outcomes? Have you been feeling restless or out of balance in some
aspect of your life? If you can answer yes or even maybe to these types of
questions you are probably ready.
Will I have
to try things that may feel new or uncomfortable to me?
The coaching process may
include suggestions for the client to explore and try new behavioral
practices, a different way of thinking about something, or to examine
underlying assumptions and beliefs that influence current outcomes.
Sometimes balance or a desired outcome may require new or initially
uncomfortable or just different ways of viewing the world, yourself, or
others. You may decide you want to try out something new to you. However,
you are always the one who decides what you will try or explore or learn
more about. The coach is there to provide an outside viewpoint, to assess
options that might help you to see a more effective way or path. A coach
will provide support and enable you to build an ongoing support system as
appropriate for your desired outcome.
Will I need
to tell you all the details of my life to this point?
Only the information
that pertains to or is related in some way to the desired outcome is
necessary. Included in this may be both subjective and qualitative data.
Your dreams about the future may provide more clarity around your desired
outcome than details about your childhood, for example.
Will I need
to involve my significant others in the coaching process?
The coaching
relationship is part of the defined outcome, and would include the coaching
client definition. While it could be defined with more than one client at a
time, the usual relationship is between the coach and a client. However, it
is true that part of how we define ourselves is how we interact with others,
and the disclosure of significant relationships and how they impact the
client is determined by the client.
What is the
role of spirituality in your coaching model?
Effective coaching may
touch on all parts of what it means to be a human being to ensure balance.
Beliefs about spirituality, the role of emotions, the impact of
relationships, as well as how one spends time or interacts within the
systems and processes in one’s daily life experiences may be appropriate to
examine. Spirituality is one component of a complex human being.
How do I
know the information I provide will remain confidential?
Confidentiality for each
client is guaranteed. Clients worry that if their organization is sponsoring
their coaching sessions, their associates or bosses may require progress
reports. While a particular organization may have an agreement for general
progress estimations, the coach never discloses client information to any
other party without express written permission. If a particular coaching
situation requires any type of progress reports, you, the client, will be
informed of any details around that agreement.
How will I
know when the process is finished or successful?
If the desired outcome
or competency has been clearly defined for the coaching process, and the
result is measurable, both the client and the coach will be able to agree
that the outcome has become reality as defined.
Does
coaching work for everyone?
A client must be open to
a coaching relationship, understand the role of a coach, and agree with and
engage with progress toward the mutually agreed upon desired outcomes. A
client also must be open to making changes in most cases for the desired
outcome to become reality. As in many other endeavors around the concept of
change, not all clients will be committed to finding a way to ensure the
intended outcome is reached. It is also possible a client and coach may
decide to update or change the original agreed upon outcome, based on new
information that becomes available during the coaching process. The client
is the only one who can guarantee results. The basis for a positive coaching
relationship is mutual trust, respect, and freedom of expression.
What
provides the biggest return or gain from being coaching?
Clients engage a coach
to help or enable them because they desire a particular outcome. The outcome
often will include an element or component that defines an ongoing, longer
term result. An ideal coaching process includes the idea of enabling
repeatable performance or behavior for the client that can continue beyond
the actual duration of the coaching process or relationship. Being able to
produce the desired outcome without the coach due to new insight, practice
or habits, behaviors, a support system, etc. is the long-term benefit for
the client. |
